Life throws us problems and challenges all the time! Non-stop, with hardly a break. I find myself wondering about the meaning of it all. I want to win these battles, but I often wonder: What does it really mean to win? To be successful? To fight a battle?
And how do I even motivate myself to win, solve problems, or overcome challenges?
As someone with a history of struggling to have a voice, I’ve experienced a strong desire to win this fight and the fears of what winning means for me in this case. I’ve come to understand that winning isn’t about conquering or achieving; winning is about being able to smile at the end of each battle. If I can’t smile, I didn’t win — because someone perhaps got hurt in the process of me winning. Or, possibly, my winning was all egotistical. This is destroying, wasting my days, or feeding my ego.
What is the purpose of my fights? What is the metric? How do I measure it? Without a purpose, there is no meaning, and without meaning, there is no winning.
It never makes me feel good to win through rigidity and following the rules. I hate following rules — they make me feel like a sheep in the crowd. They lack originality. But at times, I’m too scared to break them — the chicken in me. But I can only smile if I face my fears head-on in my unique way, without listening to rules or following expectations. I know I can always do better for myself and others. Regardless of rules or limiting thoughts, I hope to face each challenge like I’m fighting for my last breath.
The accurate measure of my victories doesn’t lie in the outcome but in how I choose to fight my battles. Do I cower in the shadows, hoping my challenges will somehow disappear on their own? Or do I find the courage to look fear directly in the eyes, knowing that its presence wants to control my life? More than anything, I fear this fear. Worse than a virus, it grows and feeds on itself.
A smile that marks a true victory isn’t just any smile — it’s one born from the knowledge that we’ve remained true to ourselves and others, to our values and positive roles in the world, in the face of the worst. It’s a smile that reflects relief at overcoming a challenge and pride in how we did it. This smile is a sign of authentic purpose. Winning means nothing without this smile.
True winning isn’t about avoiding pain — it’s about getting messy with the struggles. It’s about getting up each day like a warrior to live those challenges, help others, and make a better world. Our response to challenges, and even our search for them, define who we are more than the challenges themselves.
Do we want to hide from the world in our own homes, or do we want to make a difference? This concept drives me daily, with complex thoughts and an overthinking mind, but knowing I won’t die without intention.
The next time you face a battle, remember that winning lies in your ability to close your eyes and feel that smile. End each day knowing you’ve fought your battles with courage, and you’ll find that winning smile waiting for you.
