On the surface, I am analytical and pragmatic, obsessed with productivity, an engineer making mostly logical decisions on my daily adventures — what I eat, what I say, what I do, and whom I love!
But my inner world defies all sense of logic. It is rather chaotic and romantic, pulsing with passion and desires. I constantly fall in love: with ideas, with nature, with possibilities, with magic, with people. My love for the unknown, for new dreams, for alternate realities keeps me moving … searching for more …
Sometimes, I feel defeated in my own quest to quench this infinite thirst.
I am, without a doubt, a prisoner of love.
But this love that I so much love is often misunderstood.
Genuine love correlates strongly with our willingness to walk away and to choose how, who and what to love — with our ability to set healthy boundaries the very first time we are treated wrong or a circumstance doesn’t belong. No mercy. No looking back. You know exactly what I mean. It’s become a pandemic — this acceptance of less. Walking away from wrong is the highest expression of self-love. Healthy love starts with self-love.
I once asked myself if I would ever allow anybody to tell me so — to silently direct my life, to control the outcomes, to use me as a prop for their own self-worth, to speak words that would wound my soul, or to hurt me in any way. I chose NO. It wasn’t them who made that decision; it was me protecting ME. I told myself: My mind and body are mine for you to love, for us to enjoy, for us to grow, for us to rise above. Together means love! True love has no face or agenda; it simply is.
Love is respect.
No! We can’t tell each other who our friends are, what we should wear, which political party or religion we should believe in, or what quality our values have. That is not love!
Respect, my friends! Respect who we are, or simply walk away. This is what we all deserve and must fight for.
Why do we accept questioning, doubting, demeaning remarks, and worse yet, toxic abuse in so many relationships today? Do we fear being alone, compelled to replicate our dysfunctional upbringings, or do we doubt our own worth? Do we not believe in real love?
I frequently hear that love is messy. It is only messy if we play the messy game. If we accept that reality, the mess becomes our lives, our only definition of love.
Love means admiration — admiration for who we are and not the person they want us to be. If you can love me as I love myself, we can be one. If not, I must walk away.
Love involves humor — laughing with each other at each other’s faults and mistakes is the most precious gift we can give one another. You can do it, my love, you are better than you think. You can reach the sky and still go further. Those are the words of a true lover, the words of my love.
Only you can soothe my fire. Only you can bring these dreams closer to me. I am awakened by your touch, the smiles of my sons, and real love around me. Only when my mind quiets can I be present for these mystical feelings.
